I was 24 hours from deleting Father Fitness. I’ve had an incredibly difficult seven months and I’ve avoided two things. My own health and this blog.

My Wife wrote about something I just couldn’t face. The loss of my Dad. Something that unfortunately happens to us all and even though I was prepared, the past few months have been incredibly difficult for me. You’ve heard the quote “If you feel like giving up, think about why you started.” I realised that in order for me to salvage my own health and fitness, I needed to salvage my blog. The only way I could do this was by writing my hardest and most honest blog to date.

My Dad

It genuinely was like the flick of a light switch. He was here one minute and gone the next. Upon hearing his diagnosis, I was racked with guilt. Why didn’t I spend more time with him? To be fair, I saw him every week. What more could I do? Then I moved to anger. Why was it my Dad and not yours? Then came acceptance. There’s nothing any of us can do, so lets just enjoy the last few weeks or days together.

I’m currently at that stage where I think I’ve seen my Dad out and about. I honestly chased a bus down the street the other day thinking it was him. You have a few seconds of elation and then you are brought right back down to reality. It’s a funny feeling not knowing where he’s gone. I choke up every time I think of him and the fact that I won’t ever see him again.

Image captured by Deano Moore Photography.

It has already been my Dad’s Birthday, my daughters Birthday and Father’s Day. Three incredibly difficult days. I also made a film last year and it just won ‘Best Documentary.’ It’s hard knowing that he’s not here to see events like this and I know how proud he would’ve been. I’m a heart on the sleeve type of guy, always have been and I’m not ashamed of it. There’s a big thing being made lately about men not hiding their emotions. I’m a big believer of talking about ongoing issues.

My Support

My family and I are lucky to be surrounded by so many amazing people. The messages have obviously slowed down a lot from people but I still get them.

The picture above is me with my Mam and two brothers. I honestly don’t think I could’ve got through this time of my life if it wasn’t for the support of my family and friends. I hate thinking ‘it could be worse’ as you think of other people and their situation. As if other people’s suffering is supposed to make you feel better. If you know what I mean.

My Health & Fitness

As the title of this blog suggests, it’s been a case of me still being a Father but the Fitness side has taken a back seat. It’s funny because if I was on the outside looking in, I’d be recommending that you hit the gym in order to combat the situation. I just can’t put my finger on why I ditched the gym. It might have been because I thought what was the point? But then would my Dad have been able to recover if he was fitter and healthier? It’s a difficult thing to even think about and I guess no-one will know the answer.

Image captured by Deano Moore Photography.

Due to the stress of everything going on around me, my skin has been absolutely horrific. This in turn means I don’t sleep well and then I don’t have the energy levels to train. It’s an awful cycle and it really frustrates me!

I’ve been dipping in and out of the gym over the past few weeks. It’s a positive thing but I need to just get back into a good routine. I thought about attempting a challenge that once got the better of me but I don’t think I could ever do that again. I’d just like to thank David Lloyd Clubs for supporting me so far this year. They have been incredible and I really appreciate it.

My Blog

Following on from what I’ve just been saying. If I can get my own health and fitness back to a suitable level, the blog should take care of itself. I’m going to continue with the blog though and I’ve just secured some exciting work! Stay tuned to read all about that.

When I was 24 hours from deleting Father Fitness, I asked myself a few questions. What is it and why did I start it? Well, this platform has always been like an online diary to me. It was something I put out there so I had to follow through with it. I secretly hoped people would start to read it and maybe they could learn from my experiences. I’m not the strongest or the fittest! I’m just a man on a mission, like everyone else.

My Future

I turn 40 in two months time. It would be nice to get myself back on track with everything I’ve talked about above. It’s just going to take time and effort and I honestly feel like I’m starting to get my mojo back.

Image captured by Deano Moore Photography.

It’s been a difficult time but I believe these events happen in order for us grow. How we deal with these situations say a lot about you as a person. It took losing my Dad to become a man. I’m still here and I hold my head up high and say I’m proud of who I am and where I came from.

From the bottom of my heart, I thank-you for sticking around and supporting this blog.

With respect,